Nov 19 2015
Unfortunately, not every person is successful when it comes to dating, and if you seem to fall into that category, there are some things you can do. Therapy is a great way to find the person of your dreams.
The most important thing to remember when you date is to know yourself. If you don’t have a clue of who you are, maybe it is time for some therapy work. Broken people find broken people. Knowing and loving yourself is imperative if you want to be successful when it comes to dating.
Don’t know a good therapist? Call and schedule an appointment so that you can find the underlying cause of your unsuccessful dating patterns. Dr. Renee Winters is an expert when it comes to dating and can help you come to terms with what you do and do not like about yourself.
Write down a list of qualities that you are looking for in a potential partner. Make sure that you include, “no go’s,” and, “would consider,” traits. Be detailed and concise with your list writing down such things as, “I want him/her to be caring.” Ask yourself what you mean by caring and who you want your potential dating partner to care for or care about. Caring can mean caring for a family member or a four-legged animal member. If you want a potential partner to be caring, it is important that you dialogue with your date to see if he is capable and willing to provide the type of care required to meet your needs.
Date with a List
If you have a habit of getting caught up in the emotional aspect of dating, you need to step back. Feeling a connection, an unbridled passion, sparks, or fireworks does not dictate a strong and healthy relationship. The whimsical romance displayed in movies can lead to disappointment, movies glamourize this attraction. That connection you feel may be purely physical and could quickly fade once you get to know each other better. Always date with your list in hand.
You are searching for someone to share your life with, not a kitten, or a puppy. It is important to stick to your goals and remain true to yourself. Settling for someone because you are afraid to be alone can lead to an emotional roller coaster that can be hard to end. Be picky, after all, marriage is forever.
Understand Dating Rules
Make sure that you understand the dating rules before you head out the door. That way you can make wise and informed choices. There is a right way and a wrong way to conduct you on a date. Know the protocols for each specific date and how to begin and end each of these dates with the right amount of involvement.
Schedule an appointment with Dr. Renee Winters who can help you understanding the dating rules more clearly and can help put together an action plan for better dating results.
While on a date if items illuminate that are “no go’s”, politely finish the meal and call the date over. Don’t waste your time with someone who has a “no go”, even if it is the hottest celebrity you know. Again, we are not settling for a puppy, but rather a life mate. Be considerate of feelings, but verbalize clearly that you have no intention of moving forward.
Look for Red Flags
Make sure that you are constantly checking for red flags as your dates progress. Remember, people tend to put their best foot forward at the beginning of a date, therefore there may be underlying red flags that you aren’t seeing. Look for red flags in other areas such as how the person behaves behind the wheel, how he or she treats others, their viewpoints on hot topics, and anything else that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up.
Communication is the key when it comes to any new relationship. If disagreements or arguments enter the picture early, ask yourself why. If your date is argumentive or defensive from the starting gate, it is best to move on. You are not a therapist and delving deeper into reasoning for their bad behavior is not your job in dating.
Dating is a numbers game. Never quit and work through your frustrations. Dating is like fishing. Throw your line back out and wait for the next catch. You never know if “the one” is next on list of potential suitors. If frustration persists, take a time out, catch your breath and go back in with a renewed sense of purpose. What you project out, will land right back in front of you. Date with good energy.
When looking for a life partner, there is no sex in dating until after the 6-7th date. If you want to have sex, find it with someone else, not with a potential life mate. This is a huge rule violation that both men and women struggle with in the dating process that can lead to emotional turmoil and breakup.
Make sure that you always discuss any insecurities or uncertainties with a professional before you consider ending things with your date. Your views may be skewed causing you to say good-bye to your perfect match. Don’t ask your jaded friends, your mother, or your single friends about your potential life partner, as their opinions may not be in your best interest.
If you would like to know more about dating the right way, schedule an appointment with professional psychologist Dr. Renee Winters who can help you find Mr. or Ms. Right. Call or click and schedule your appointment today.